When I re-started this Medifast journey, I honestly wasn’t sure if it would work for me, again.  Or, if I deserved for it to work again.  There is a lot of shame in losing weight and regaining even some of it…and I gained back nearly half.   I have been carrying that shame around for about 6 months and the thought of starting again seemed so daunting, at first. 

Medifast blew my mind with how well it worked the first time & how easy it was for me to stick to their 5n1 plan.  I consider myself a very busy person, working full time, running around my son who is currently playing three sports and racing my daughter to gymnastics and dance lessons twice a week…and Medifast has always been able to fit into my lifestyle. 

I also wasn’t sure if I could mentally get in the groove again. Like I said, it seemed so daunting.  And, re-starting seemed like admitting failure, publicly, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to do that.  But, I had to.  I had to come back here and show myself and everyone else that I can do it.   I can hit my goal weight and maintain, through Medifast. 

And I will.

It has taken me a little while to find my groove – perhaps even in just the last few days.  But, I’m happy to report that I feel it again.  That spark is there.  And, the scale is surely helping fuel my fire, again.  

I lost another 2.4 pounds this week.  Which, doesn’t sound like much but I cheated on Monday (My dad was taken to the hospital with chest pains and I sat there for hours on end and didn’t pay attention to my mindless eating.) and then again on Saturday, when we took  my dad out to dinner for his birthday.  We felt like we really needed to celebrate after the week he had, and  I tried to stay on plan, but I did overeat, which still isn’t healthy. 

I’m a work in progress. 

I keep reminding myself, “Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog.”  But, it’s a hard habit to break after nearly 30 years of all celebrations including delicious food.

That being said,  2.4 pounds is a victory!  And, I have high hopes for this week…because, like I said, I really feel like I’ve found my groove, again.  

Weight Lost: 5.4

Weight Left to Lose:   46.2

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Medifast recently introduced a new customer savings program! If you use my new coupon code, MOMNOM56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! Medifast Advantage also has a lot of perks, including free customizable meals and a free BlenderBottle® with minimum purchase.

Here are the details: For your first order of $250+, use my code, and enroll in Medifast Advantage to receive 28 free meals. Do the same on your next order and you’ll receive ANOTHER 28 free meals! This offer is only valid if you enroll in Medifast Advantage, and it’s limited to one per customer.
(It’s not valid with prior purchases, any other promotions or discounts, or for Medifast Ready-to-Drink Shakes.)

Check out Medifast’s website for complete details on program and discounts.

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*FTC Disclosure: I receive free product in order to evaluate and comment on my experiences on the Medifast program. Medifast products and the Medifast program are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or illness. Any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs.  And, since this is my blog and I DO WHAT I WANT, all the opinions expressed here, positive and negative, are mine. And cannot be bought.

Like many Americans, I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  And for months (and months and months and month) I’ve been trying to pinpoint what exactly that even means.  I’ve been casually journaling what it going on emotionally when I feel those great desires to eat.  But, at this point I see no real pattern – and that’s what I am searching for. 

I desperately want to find a method to my madness.  An answer to my question – why am I overweight? An emotion or state of mind that triggers my eating behavior to go off course, would rest my anxious soul. 

But, all that I’ve found is that I like to eat in reaction to a broad range of emotions. 

I eat when I’m bored, when I’m stressed, when I’m depressed, when I’m celebrating, when I’m relaxed and when I have absolutely no reason to eat, at all.  

And, that just isn’t helpful.

Cause, unlike most addictions – you can’t quit food.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – homegirl, you just love food.  You’re right. I do.  I love the way chocolate awakens your senses and the way a hearty casserole fills you with warmth.  I love the way a crunchy salad changes your perspective.  And the way ice cream melts away your worries.

Recently, one of my new favorite bloggers, wrote a really incredible post called, “Peace with Food,” and it hit me – I need to find my peace with food.  I need more balance.

Balance is something the author also write about often.  The way she describes her current relationship with food, after losing a whopping 135 POUNDS (HALF HER BODY WEIGHT) is really inspiring. 

And, quite frankly, a little depressing.  Have you ever wanted something so badly, only to see someone else have it so gracefully, and then you find yourself depressed? Perhaps, even a little jealous?

That’s where I am. 

My desire to understand my eating habits, to find peace & balance in my eating behavior, to find the place where I can live fully with food as a friend, not an enemy, is overwhelming.  It takes over my brain and controls my thoughts. 

I am on this journey to the end, this time. Medifast is an amazing company, who is truly doing wonderful things to help people find their healthiness…and I am honored to work with them as I hit my goal.  The 5n1 plan works well with my body and lifestyle – and I know that I CAN do this. 

This is a lifestyle change, as Andie has shown me.  It goes beyond just hitting a number on a scale.  I want this to be something I can maintain.  I want this to be my new life. 

I crave to ability to find peace with food.

I have a 2009 Ford Edge.

 I love it.  Honestly, I  love nearly every.single.thing. about it.  I love how spacious the inside is.  I love how much room my kids have in the backseat.  I love that I can still reach my toddler in the back to hand her things. (At red lights. Obviously.) I love that I can  tote around just about anything in the trunk – it’s big. I love that when I take the car seats out, it feels hip & modern & trendy.

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Welp, the first week on Medifast is over and I must admit – I couldn’t be more excited to see it go.  Unfortunately for me, I get hit with not one, but three reactions to entering Ketosis – headaches, general grumpiness and lack of sleep.  (Read also: unfortunately for my family) Fortunately, after the first week those symptoms seem to fade. 

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My son is in a phase.  And, it’s one that I don’t particularly care for.

If we’re being honest, phases like this make me think I’m not quite cut out for this gig.  I mean, perhaps I’m not cut out for adulthood, either.  I was sort of thrust into it, at 19, when I had him.  I never really had the typical learning curve.  I was handed a boy and called a mom and said goodbye to my childish things and ways.  I put down some dreams and picked up some new ones.  I landed on my feet, a lot, by the grace of God and the strength of my parents.  But, perhaps, I’m not qualified for a pre-tween at only 28.

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Resolution.

Some people cringe at the sound of the word but personally, I like them.  Who doesn’t need goals?  Who doesn’t need something to keep them focused on what is truly important in their life?  Who wouldn’t like to look back on a year and check things off and say, I did that?  That’s what resolutions are to me…just a little word that keeps me focused on what this year should look like on December 31, 2012.  

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