MomNom Header!

My Relationship with Food.

Like many Americans, I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  And for months (and months and months and month) I’ve been trying to pinpoint what exactly that even means.  I’ve been casually journaling what it going on emotionally when I feel those great desires to eat.  But, at this point I see no real pattern – and that’s what I am searching for. 

I desperately want to find a method to my madness.  An answer to my question – why am I overweight? An emotion or state of mind that triggers my eating behavior to go off course, would rest my anxious soul. 

But, all that I’ve found is that I like to eat in reaction to a broad range of emotions. 

I eat when I’m bored, when I’m stressed, when I’m depressed, when I’m celebrating, when I’m relaxed and when I have absolutely no reason to eat, at all.  

And, that just isn’t helpful.

Cause, unlike most addictions – you can’t quit food.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – homegirl, you just love food.  You’re right. I do.  I love the way chocolate awakens your senses and the way a hearty casserole fills you with warmth.  I love the way a crunchy salad changes your perspective.  And the way ice cream melts away your worries.

Recently, one of my new favorite bloggers, wrote a really incredible post called, “Peace with Food,” and it hit me – I need to find my peace with food.  I need more balance.

Balance is something the author also write about often.  The way she describes her current relationship with food, after losing a whopping 135 POUNDS (HALF HER BODY WEIGHT) is really inspiring. 

And, quite frankly, a little depressing.  Have you ever wanted something so badly, only to see someone else have it so gracefully, and then you find yourself depressed? Perhaps, even a little jealous?

That’s where I am. 

My desire to understand my eating habits, to find peace & balance in my eating behavior, to find the place where I can live fully with food as a friend, not an enemy, is overwhelming.  It takes over my brain and controls my thoughts. 

I am on this journey to the end, this time. Medifast is an amazing company, who is truly doing wonderful things to help people find their healthiness…and I am honored to work with them as I hit my goal.  The 5n1 plan works well with my body and lifestyle – and I know that I CAN do this. 

This is a lifestyle change, as Andie has shown me.  It goes beyond just hitting a number on a scale.  I want this to be something I can maintain.  I want this to be my new life. 

I crave to ability to find peace with food.

 

7 comments

1 Samantha { 01.13.12 at 2:17 pm }

I know exactly how you feel. I eat all the time. It doesn’t matter how I’m feeling necessarily. I can be happy, depressed, or anything in between. Or feeling nothing in particular at all.

I have (very mild) OCD, and the closest thing I can compare my eating to is a compulsion. It’s totally the opposite of what I would think. Usually my OCD is about control (not like washing my hands 100x a day or anything like that), but my compulsion to eat is totally the opposite. I feel like I have to do it for some reason, which makes me feel out of control. I can sit there and eat a chocolate bar thinking “I shouldn’t eat this, it’s unhealthy, I’m going to regret it, etc…” and yet still eat it. Because for some reason I feel like I NEED it. Or Deserve it.

I have found that I can curb my eating not by thinking “I shouldn’t”, but instead of thinking “I don’t need this, I feel like I do, but I don’t. It’s just a compulsion. Etc”. And while it’s probably not the best idea, I’ve been trying to replace it with ways to have more control over my diet (which maybe a therapist wouldn’t agree with but oh well…). Like replacing the compulsion to eat crap with the compulsion to eat healthy.

I’m not saying you have OCD. But my issues stem from my PTSD, which I’ve known you mentioned in the past. When we go through traumatic things your brain does funny things, and if you used food to get through a tough time before, your brain my now be wired to think that you need the food to get through the day (even if it wasn’t particularly stressful).

That’s my 2 cents. Good luck!!!

[Reply]

2 lisa { 01.13.12 at 3:32 pm }

i don’t know the answer. i have the exact same issues with food. i eagerly await other folks’ comments. don’t feel bad tiff. lots of us out here feel the same way, grappling with a way to actually get a hold of the whole relationship with food. hang in there baby. i’m day 5 on medifast (AGAIN) and i still haven’t hit that groove, so starving even as i write this. but i know i’ll feel better and better as the days go on. for sures.

[Reply]

3 Darlene { 01.13.12 at 5:15 pm }

I don’t have any answers. . .and I just started Weight Watchers. . .but I pray we the key to our behaviors.
Darlene recently posted..George Hampton: RIP

[Reply]

4 Mia Glover { 06.19.12 at 6:49 am }

I have a problem in dieting this summer and I really love eating foods very much. I couldn’t resist when I saw delicious foods.
Mia Glover recently posted..Secrets to Dealing with Hair Loss

[Reply]

5 Zenny Pia { 07.12.12 at 1:18 am }

After a thorough diet, there might be partly changes with food relationship. In fact, being conscious about the foods to intake is the main concern after achieving the weight loss.
Zenny Pia recently posted..Sex and Aging: Bump up your Libido Naturally

[Reply]

6 Sasha Moretz { 08.03.12 at 8:55 am }

Me too. I eat too much when I am bored, depressed and stressed. I want to eat a lot of delicious and sweet foods.
Sasha Moretz recently posted..Male Enhancement Supplements: A Guide to Discover the Best

[Reply]

7 Marcia Kin { 08.24.12 at 4:23 am }

I don’t know if I am lucky because when I am depress and sad I don’t want to eat. I couldn’t taste the foods.
Marcia Kin recently posted..You Are Sure To Be Impressed With The Results Of These Teeth Whitening Tips

[Reply]

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge