If You Want to Trust Pregnancy Tests. Stop Reading Now.
…for those of you brave enough to continue on, you do so at your own risk. I don’t want phone calls from the Hubbs’ complaining that his sex life has dwindled down to nothing, or is comparable to mine, because of this post. If you’re like me, and a complete paranoid, multi-taker…you should stop reading.
Now that I feel I have given you sufficient warning, let me begin.
Two weeks before my October 2008 wedding (two freakin’ weeks I tell ya!), I decided it was time to kick the ‘ole pill poppin’ baby stoppin’ to the curb. I mean, we already had an almost six-year-old at that point. Who were we kidding? If we put it off too much longer we might as well call it quits, right?
So, we frollicked, we played, we used condoms (occassionally), we pulled, we prayed, we drank alcohol and lived happily in newlywed bliss.
For about three weeks.
And then our good ‘ole friend Flow didn’t stop by. And we pondered. And thought “no way” and we coninued on our happy sexually blissful newleywed life.
Until Thanksgiving.
And then I started to worry. And, with a trip to the Big Apple, with my mom and one of my best friends scheduled for the day after Thanksgiving, I did what any alcoholic adult would do. I pee’d on a stick. duh.
BFN.
Needless to say, we had fun in NYC and on my return home I realized…still, no Flow. So, after being home a minute, at least an hour, I pee’d on the second stick (always buy the two pack! always.)
BFN.
So, I called the doctor. She could see me in two days.
So, I did what any woman would do, I pee’d on two more sticks, in two days.
BFN, BFN.
On the appointment day, I was convinced I was pregnant. I had told myself OVER and OVER in preparation. Upon arrival, she did her thang. Checked out the goods. Asked me to pee.
BFN.
And put me on clomid. To make me start. I followed her directions to the tee…I took the pills, waited “said” amount of time…and still…no Flow.
So, I called the office. They casually asked, “Have you had unprotected sex since you took the medication? If so, we would like a blood pregnancy test before we have you take another round.” I answered, “yes.”
Side note: What is it with the word SEX that makes you feel guilty? I felt like I should have been able to say, “Why yes, we have, cause were married and we can finally enjoy an unprotected, wholesome, romp in the sack.”
But a simple, “yes” was all I could muster up.
So, the next day at lunch I went and took the blood test. OF COURSE, it was Friday, so, I would hear from them Monday. I remember thinking, this whole period thing is really cramping my casual drinking problem. Sheesh.
By Monday I had somehow managed to forget about the whole ordeal…and then my phone rang.
Me: Hello.
Nurse: Hi, is this Tiffany?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: Hi Tiffany, I’m calling to inform you the test came back positive.
Me: For what? (Insert panic-stricken thoughts of husband having an affair and sharing said affairs with me.)
Nurse: Pregnancy. (long, awkward pause) You appear to be approximately 8 weeks. (longer, MORE awkward pause.)
Me: Wow.
Nurse: I can’t tell if this is good news or bad news. But, we should probablyget you in here to get an exam.
Me: Can you call me back after I talk to my husband? I think its good news. (more silence). When can I come in?
By the time I got in, which was after Christmas and New Years, I was just a few days shy of 10 weeks pregnant. They did an internal ultrasound (Someone could have warned me about that. Seriously.) and everything was reading 9 weeks, 6 days.
Like Whoa. I was almost through my first tri-mester.
That story right there, my dear friends, is why we no longer waste our money on sticks. That tell you lies. And get you drunk. And then laugh in your crotch face.
Can you blame us?
38 comments
another crazy story at mom nom. at least you werent sick in the first tri and it all worked out!
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I too had some issues with the lying pee sticks – except we were in spain when the flow stopped…and we don’t speak much spanish…asking for “un examen porque es possible tengo un bebe” didn’t exactly cut it – and they all came back negative…so we enjoyed our sangria and came home with a positive test back in the states…
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Mine tests always – ALWAYS – come back negative the first time. No matter how many days past the day my period was supposed to start, no matter how far along I am, no matter how early in the morning I pee on that damn stick. ALWAY get a BFN. Then I spend a week wondering if I’m a crazy person until I pee on another stick. And it comes back positive. From now on I’m just going to skill the sticks and lie to the doctor “why, yes I got a positive home test! please see me immediately!”
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I hurt my back at work and had to have an x-ray, right around the time that my period should have been showing up. They had me pee on a stick. BFN. So I indulged in wine the following weekend. After 38 days with no Flo, I peed on a stick again and there she was, BFP. Needless to say I don’t really trust the sticks either.
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That’s a heck of a story. I didn’t realize that could happen!
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Even when it was GLARINGLY OBVIOUS that I was pregnant, I never got a positive on a Dollar Tree test. The most sensitive tests, my left boob! And my husband totally didn’t believe that a line was a line so he left me stewing on our whole drive home from vacation wondering “was I” or “wasn’t I”?
Next time, I’m going straight for the digital.
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Wow – I’ve lost all faith in pregnancy tests… and somewhat in doctors.
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Wowzers!
Did they give any thoughts on why they thought you got so many false negatives?
I also didn’t know about baby #2 until I was 8 or 9 weeks… but that was because I had my head buried in the sand, not because of a lying stick!
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Im a freak about taking p-test! every time aunt flow is even 1 day late,I freak out and run and get one, and YES! I had a negative one with my daughter so obviously they lied to me too:)!! Those things are dangerous and liers hahah
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I am a new follower and that is a great story! Loved to read it! Talk about following your instincts, right? Thanks or sharing.
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lmao…. Great story. And ditto on the ultrasound!
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How’s this for lying….
I was 5 days late and still get BFN at home. Took a blood test on a friday, got a call Monday that it was a No – not pregnant. I didn’t believe it. I kept taking home tests and 3 weeks later got a YES. First dr. visit they said I was already 9 weeks along… so the home tests AND the blood test LIED!! Dr. had no idea why, but well there you have it. Liars.
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Um, maybe it’s cuz I’m a dude, but what does BFN mean? Do I dare ask what an internal ultrasound is?
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Ok, so now I’m questioning things even more. Flow last visited March 17. BFN April 23rd & May 4th Guess its time to POS again. wtf?!? I’ve never skipped a month until last October. Things were back to normal @ my yearly in Dec and Dr said it was probably just stress. Gah.
Suppose you’ll see me on the next episode of “I didn’t know I was pregnant.” jk
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I was late recently and finally broke down and bought pee sticks – and got my period on the way home. I wanted to exchange them for tampons but didn’t have the nerve.
Yeah, the ol’ internal ultrasound – or as I started calling it “dildo-cam”.
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Wow…just wow. Were you using internet cheapies or a namebrand? I’ve heard of one or maybe even 2 tests coming back negative early on but never this many BFNs when you were actually pregnant! That’s nuts and now I don’t know if I’ll ever look at a pregnancy test the same way again.
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Ummm, that’s scary because I haven’t had my friend come visit since I had bugs and I took 3 tests and they were all BFN, maybe I should call my doctor?!?!
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That is crazy!!!!
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man…now that is shocking! those tests read an hcg level of 20…that is freakin low….i’m shocked!
i bought a 2 pack and start testing on friday! i better be knocked up! hopefully there is a bright light at the end of this past miscarriage!
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What a crazy adventure! I would have been freaking out the entire time.
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I haven’t had a situation like this, but can relate to feeling guilty about SEX. In April 09 I had Mirena put in completely procrastinated and never went back for my 6 week check up until OCTOBER 09 and there I was told “Well it’s hanging out” they took it out. Because my husband and I had just had sex the night before they wanted to wait a week I think before they drew blood and I was given instructions NOT TO HAVE SEX. But what do we do? Yeah, have sex. Then when I get the phone call that I wasn’t pregnant they scheduled me to have the IUD put back in place. When I go to have it in the nurse said “You’ve been abstaining right?” and I bowed my head and said “Um…no” and she says “So after the Dr told you NOT to have sex you did? Pause, Pause “Um…yeah” “How many times?” “Just once” which was a totally lie but I was sooooooo embarrassed and felt like I was confessing to my youth Pastor or something! But ya know I’m 22 that sex drive is on HIGH.
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I had a similar thing happen a year ago. And I JUST wrote about it on Saturday. Oh ya and my best friend from childhood’s name is Tiffany (like seriously, age 2 up until high school). Found you on blog flow and think that maybe it’s meant to be
But I only had two negative tests before a positive. I cannot imagine how you must have been feeling! It was frustrating as hell just to have two negative tests when I really thought I was pregnant. I couldn’t stop researching on the internet, matching every weird thing I felt going on in my body with every early pregnancy symptom.
Anyways. Nice to “meet” you! And following.
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freaking hilarious!
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HA! With both my kids I started testing about 90 minutes after I got pregnant. I had negatives with each until I was 5 weeks. I know people who have negative tests throughout their whole pregnancy. CONGRATS!
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i had nearly the exact same experience!!! well, almost. but my first blood test also came back negative. finally, the day i was to pick up the clomid from the drugstore, the second blood test came back positive. we had been trying (and i was CERTAIN i was pregnant, even though 6 pee sticks showed i “wasn’t”) so i was ecstatic, but yeah. those things…not necessarily reliable. nice post. love it.
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LOL….you have deceitful pee!
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Yikes! Oh, and about that ultrasound-wish someone would have warned me about that too.
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Wow! I’ve heard of such things happening before but it’s wild to read an actual account – cool story! New follower, by the way!
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Hahaha gotcha beat naive little girl over didn’t know if there was the faintest glow of a second line that meant you were preggers, were talking very slight barely even there had to hold up to the light to see. So dumb girl shrugs shoulder always been irregular and start new pack of seasonik the 3 month bc.. Drink my through holidays 3 months later no aunt flo buy the digital test cause it was on sale… BFP. Go to the dr they start with the internal, tech laughs we don’t need this I see gender. WHAT!?! Yep the day I found I was pregnant I knew we were having a boy.
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[...] In summary, I had a missed period on birth control & a total and complete panic attack that lasted 48+ hours. Poor YaYa {@yaheesplace} nearly held the pee stick for me she was so wrapped up in the drama, and even after it came back negative, I still didn’t calm down. Because, duh. [...]
I had just returned home in june 2010, five days after had normal period. Since i returned condoms were no longer used. his b-day 7/10 we had fun… 3he weekend before my birthday 7/29 started having andominal pains, never had such before. three days after bleed for a day and a half. (i'm 23, this never happened in my life) later that week took a hpt and neg. Heart started beating faster, was always tired, didn't want to do things i used to enjoyed, just wanted to sleep. dizziness, headaches, and abdominal pains. Went to ER they ran test, including preg test, neg. said it was stress put me on anxiety meds. august, no period, but spotting after sex Onever had spotting had to google why only showing pink when i wipe). september went to clinic on 10th hpt neg, end of month still no period. Its now oct, still no period… (i'm not on to take many test, once a month works, lol. Guess i'll test again since this also the first time in my life i ever thought or felt i am/was.)
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Also, i'm not and have never been on any kind of birth control. people, rumors, have said many times i was preg, including family if i missed a period. but for the past year and a half its been regular. I never believed people when they told me i was, now i believe i am, but scared to say anything. Only told four people i might me. Didn't want to be at first, now i really want a son. picked out a name and everything.
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[...] December 23, 2008 I told my husband he was going to be a dad – after quite a bit of fanfare. From there, we began working to clean up what debt we had, in order to purchase a home for our [...]
just found your blog and spent oh, you know, like 2 hours clicking around. but i digress.
i got negative tests even a full week late…with TWINS. one would think that double the pregnancy hormone would show up, but apparently not. but when you know, you know. tests be damned.
jeannett recently posted..Jesse Advent – December 23
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hi im from the uk my name is lynda im 34 yrs old. i would like to share my story 18 yrs ago i fell pregnant with my first son i was on the depo injections at the time so i was young and very naive still a child my self. i did countless test at the doctors and by my self becouse my tummy was larging and i got scared i remember my doctor telling me stop being parianoid becouse i cant get pregnant becouse im on the injections how wrong was he he sent me for a scan which show i was 3 and a half months pregnant. i didnt realy have many symptoms untill i found out and my breast didnt realy start hurting till gone 3 months and all test kept showing negative. so i guess whats ment to be will be even if were ready for it or not its not always up to us but i also remember being looked at and judged becouse i was so young. but ive had 3 more sons since then and i can honestlty say ive been the best mother to my children a mother could be my eldest is in collage now doing realy well and working.
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Wonderful Manual thanks for sharing.
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