Let’s Talk About S.E.X. – Friday Follow
Now that I have your attention (ahem…)
I’m also over at Charmingly Chandler today -stop by if you get a chance. But, while you’re here don’t forget to enter my Little Lesiw giveaway - winner announced Saturday!
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This is my first guest blog ya’ll and I’m nervous.
When Alena invited me over here I was all sorts of excited, until reality set in. I’m going to a new place…and what if they don’t like me? See, over at Mom-Nom.Com (go ahead, say it a few times. Fun, huh?) I know the crowd. They like me, I like them. It’s my comfort zone. But, over here…well, I am sure I know some of you, but not all.
So after fretting and fighting with myself over what to write…I thought I would just lay it all on the line, ya know? What is a blogger really without her ability to over-share. And over-share is exactly what I am going to do. Brace yourself.
Hi, my name is Tiffany and you can read all about how I got knocked up at 19 here and then more about my poor mom losing her mind here. And then you can read about my Post-Traumatic Traumatized self here, and if you’re not good and confused yet, you can read about my first mommy-blogger confrontation here.
Now that we know each other…
Lets talk about S.E.X. (Yep, you read that right.)
I have recently accepted the fact that my sex life is not going to be considered fun, romantic, creative or even relatively noisy for quite some time. The romantic, o-inspiring activities that once streamed from our master bedroom have all faded into the back of granny-panty ridden dresser drawer or have been placed politely in the back of a closet in the unmentionables stack.
I honestly thought we would have been back to hanging from sex swings and pulling out whips by now…er…scratch that. We never did that. I’m lying.
But in all seriousness, I did think we would have been back to casual, relatively boring, Midwestern love making by now. Sheesh. She’s nine-months old. But ladies, let me tell ya. Something has changed. Momma just doesn’t have the desire anymore. It’s not that daddy isn’t oh-so-terrific, but I need some coaxing. MAJOR coaxing.
And, to be quite honest, the following conversation doesn’t exactly get my motor revving…
Mr. B – “Wanna?”
Me – “Sure”
Mr. B – “Get neked.”
Me – “Did you lock the door? Make sure its locked. Jiggle the doorknob – don’t be loud. Sshhh…you’re being loud. If you wake her – she’s yours.”
Mr. B – “It’s locked. Promise. Get neked.”
Me – “Do you have a condom on? Don’t come near me with that thing without a condom on.”
Mr. B – “Getting it now. Don’t worry.”
Me - “Did you hear that? I think she’s up. Be quiet.”
Mr. B -”She’s not up - are you neked yet?”
This, my friends, is the shenanigans that have to take place in order for un-romance to happen in the home of Mr. & Mrs. B. And, lets just say it out loud. It’s. Not. Working. Not that you can blame me, right? It isn’t exactly poetry.
And this is the part where I reveal to you my real motive behind this post – Are we the only ones that have this problem? Maybe we are? Maybe my OCD has finally made its way into my bedroom.
OR, better yet, maybe I just need to get drunk?
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Oh gawd, please tell me we’re not the only ones. If you see the comment section bare, or if everyone is just saying sorry, do me a favor…leave a comment saying this is SO TRUE! or something along those lines. I don’t think I can bear the thought of everyone else having mind blowing S.E.X. while me & Mr. B discuss door knob jiggling, condom application and sleeping babies….
39 comments
You are definitely not alone! I left a full comment on CC.
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T-
That is sooooo funny! You know how old mine are and we still have those conversations!
Thanks for (over) sharing! LOL
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Drunk + Baby staying at Grandma’s = the only time things are back to pre-baby “normal”. Otherwise, there is much triple checking of baby monitors and birth control and how many hours are left before the alarm goes off in the morning.
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I was just thinking about this yesterday. I love you for bringing this up because I was wondering if I was the only one. I have no energy at night after working and taking care baby and house once home. My conversation with hubs… Mr. Hey babe you want to? Me. Nope I am exhausted maybe tomorrow I need rest and what if baby wakes up. I have actually turned into a morning person now and totally want it in the morning but then I feel so rushed you hurry before the baby wakes or shit I am running late for work hurry. How about total turn off the dogs start humping each other while adult things are happening with me and hubs.
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good for you for at least making time for s.e.x. i hear ya!
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Oh THANK YOU! I thought I was alone in the exact same thing! We have three, 5, 3 and just turned 1… and my hubs is the same way. It is “are ya ready yet?” ha.. ha.. I agree, getting drunk may be the answer.
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You are so not alone. Thanks to depression and Celexa, I have the sex drive of a…uh…something with a really low sex drive. And the husband “complains” that he doesn’t get sex very often and then doesn’t do anything to let me know he’s interested in having sex, so that one’s on him.
I’ve found that a good glass of cold sauv. blanc or two does a lot to get me going.
But yeah, you’re not alone.
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oh, giiiirllllll…..you are not alone. It’s tough. I kinda think it’s a vicious cycle. Hubs gets denied so often that he just needs to get. some. and therefore loses all romance-smomance…and then it’s even worse because I’m all like….I need some romance!!! Yikes! I hate this part of mommyhood. Sometimes, I think that I should just get my act together and give the man some love….but I’m just so tired! Arg!
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You’re not the only one. I’ve contemplated putting the Deed on the calendar just to remind us to do it because really? I forget about it sometimes and my husband works so hard that he’s too tired to mind. It’s just sad.
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You are SO not the only ones!! We seriously have to remind each other that we need to do it. Having little ones just wears you out and after a day of having them all over you, the last thing you want is to have some big strappin’ man all over you! Unless it’s George Clooney, and then it would be no problem…
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Girl! of course you NOT alone! this is the shenanigan with all couple with babies, unless you have GRANDMA, and best freind who are not afraid of babies or you can beat them (the babies) to the punch on Sunday morning wake up before them and get a quickie in. Otherwise it a door nob jiggling monitor checking experience!
Courage it gets a better.
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Can you say “my PPD therapist is now my SEX therapist” three times real fast? I can. I blamed it on the drugs while I was sick, but now I have no excuse besides I am tired of being needed and touched by another human being all day long so take your needy self and shove it. I WISH that I wanted it…but I just don’t. That said, we’re working on it and I will let you know if I have any epiphanies! Thank you so much for being so blunt and honest on this one. Most people would not have. Kudos!
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LOL. This sounds totally familiar. Except at some point MacGyver will take the monitor and try to hide it so I stop glancing at it.
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i’m with amber – i toootally dont want it. i just want my body to myself and any spare time i have i want to zone out in front of the computer and sleep. you arent alone!
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Has any guy managed to get enough balls to comment yet? No?…well maybe they’re not as stupid as me. So, i hear this all the time, “i’m tired” “i breastfeed and it makes me not want it” “you need to try harder” “this oven doesn’t heat itself”…but it’s not fair to us. we (speaking for loving guys), want to make you happy and want to feel loved. is it mostly about the sex?…well yes…but we also like to snuggle with you afterwards and like to hear the moans, etc etc that comes with the sex. we’re trying as hard as we know how…and we’re pretty dumb and don’t completely understand what your body is going through. just try a little harder b/c you’re hanging us out to dry here. bargain with us, we’ll take the deal!
-signed, the designated guy to respond to moms not wanting sex (send hatemail to LCW at our link…b/c she married me…)
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You are so not Alone!! This post made me Lol because it sounded so familiar!.. I just found your blog again! I used to follow you before from “Feels like Home” I love your blog:)
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Of course, you’re not alone in this. The desire is just gone. It’s no longer as pleasurable as it used to be and while I don’t think it is the fault of him or I, I think it is my brain’s fault. I’m too busy thinking about everything else!
Typical come on? A lingering bed time kiss… at 11:30pm! Come one, husband! If you wanna get some, try at 10:30 not 11:30 b/c then I realize that I’ve gone to bed too late and can’t manage the extra 10 minutes a romp in the sack would take.
However! I will say this. After a one month drought I finally asked my hubs why he doesn’t even try any more. “Have you given up on me?”
His reply: “There’s only so many times I will slam the door on my own foot before I realize not to even open it any more.”
Truer words were never spoken and I learned something through them. =)
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Forget about the baby for a bit. Go rent True Blood. Not kidding. My dh & I went from once a month if we were lucky since I never felt like doing it…. to at least 2-3 times a week! A good steamy romantic & adventurous show got me thinking about doing the deed again. And all is well. Lol.
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Seems like Mr. B needs to put the kids to bed, lock the door, scoop you up in his arms, throw you on the bed, and start kissing you like Armageddon is coming, all before you even have a chance to object. Your futile attempts at objecting with rational thought will be thwarted by passionate, ravishing kisses that move from your lips, to your neck, to your chest, to your stomach, to your….
….but then again I’m a single guy and have no idea what it’s like to romance my wife with the kids next door. Regardless, Mr. B needs to step it up and make you feel like a lady.
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lmao tiffany.
so so true. sooooo so true. so true. so true. 
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I found your blog via Friday Follow and decided to follow you. I hope you will check out my blog. I am #106 Traci66 on Mr. Linky or http://traci66.blogspot.com Also check out my giveaways on my right sidebar if you get a chance.
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LMAO ROTF! Have you been spying on my bedroom because I swear my husband and I have the same conversation!
BTW, I’m here from Friday Follow and I am so following you now.
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Did you read my diary?!?!?! This is so us. I feel really bad for Hubby, but I am so not into right now. I am glad you are brave enough to post this because I am not. My MIL reads our blog and I love her and really don’t feel comfortable with her reading about our sex life. Total strangers – fine, my MIL – not so much. Here’s to hoping it get’s better – for both of us!
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omg i nearly pee’d on myself. that was a riot!
i think you just quoted about almost every family of more than 1 in this country!
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haha great post! I don’t have kids so I can’t say that we have the exact same experience, but we do have a pushy little dog who likes to inturrupt our fun. If we lock her outside or out of the bedroom she will whine and bark and scratch at the door until we let her in. The neighbor’s probably don’t appreciate that. When she is in, she’s up on the bed she’s in my face or trying to sniff places she shouldn’t…. you get the idea. We then yell and chuck her off the bed just for her to return a couple minutes later, lingering at the foot of the bed. Definite mood killer. I too hope I’m not alone with this, something has to change!
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HAHAHA This is one reason why I’m afraid to have children…. lol
Stopping by from FF! I invite you to visit my blog, only 25 more follows till I reach 100! If I get to 100 this weekend I’ll hold my first giveaway!
http://judaleonard.blogspot.com/2010/05/friday-follow-wooo-my-exact-2-month.html
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Can I just say……4 times in 9 months. Oh an p.s. my daughter is 9 months old. That is all.
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Newest follower from FF. And this made me laugh out loud!
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I commented over at CC’s, but this was the BEST.POST.EVER! LOVE IT!
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I’m a new reader….but yes, um, our sex life conversations pretty much go just like that – practically word for word. So sad.
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Things change for sure. Following from Friday Follow. Have a great week!
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Too funny! And no you’re not the only one. Our kids are bigger but don’t know how to knock. “Lock it, or explain it”, that’s my motto.
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OMG, I know exactly what you mean, Me and my man have the same problem…I have absolutly NO sex drive whats so ever!! I blame it on birthcontrol(mirena). We have a very similar convo everytime we do it, which just isnt much! I wish I wish so hard that i actually wanted to. Because it honestly isnt him, Its me and i know that. And someone up in the comments mention their man getting tired of asking and getting refused..Well that same thing happened to me, and I have to, considered marking on a calender to remind me to have sex. But its hard because men tend to get so lax and not put much effort into getting us women all geared up…I hate that, I just wish that if he wanted sex he would initiat it without asking me ” do you wanna get naked” That grates on my nerves!! But im saying to much for a comment…
I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog, I just found it and I promise to be a long time follower because your blog is so AWESOME!!
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TRUE TRUE TRUE AND TRUE SOME MORE!
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[...] – Shit My Kid Says. or If you Want to Trust Pregnancy Tests, Stop Reading NOW or maybe Let’s Talk About Sex or possibly even Let’s Get Real. Part. II or Part [...]
this made me pee my pants a little. you are NOT alone, friend.
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Wow nope not alone. My husband is in college right now so he only comes home on the weekends. Wich really isn’t our home since we live with his parents until graduation…. grrr. If that’s not a mood killer I don’t know what is. But we also have 2 children 6 and 4 year old. I do believe lock it or explain it but something else that kills the mood is his parents always wanting to be in our business. We don’t do it alot as it is so this is frustrating! WE women need to come up with something!
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The thing is, Men have sex bc they wanna feel good, hence why they can have it with a cold, headache, broken foot, etc. Women, on the other hand, typically want sex when we ALREADY feel good, hence why the excuses of headache, tired, touchy-feel-overload come in. We are just differently!
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