Let’s Get Real. Part I
I got pregnant at 19.
It was the summer going into my sophomore year of college. I was living away from home, rowing for a collegiate team and just got third at the Rowing A-10 Rowing Championships. Dreams were becoming reality. And then I pee’d on a stick. And, all I could think was No, EFFING way.
In all honesty, if there was ever a moment in my life where I thought - holy shit, my head is literally going to explode, that was it. The first person that popped in my head was my mom. My god-fearing, bible-reading, just-got-back-from-freakin’-Israel-mom. I was certain a convent would be called the second she became aware. Or, worse, she would attack me in a fit of rage.
Great, right?
I should mention that my boyfriend, at the time (soon to be referred to as bebeh’s daddy), was in the Marine Corp. and he just so-happened to be conveniently placed in Spain. for the next MONTH! Hello, head. Meet, Explodes.
I had to tell my mom, right? There was no way to keep this a secret. Right? So, as someone who finds writing SO much easier and more natural than speaking, I did what any blogger in the making would do – I wrote her a letter. That I placed ever-so-gently on her pillow while she was at work. (I know. Not exactly kind of me to do.) And then I proceeded to pack everything I owned (which was like nothing at 19) and shove it all into my jeep wrangler (good thing there wasn’t much) and I headed to my boyfriend’s mom’s house. Can you say Klassy? Not one of my finer moments, but I was 19, right? And FREAKING PREGNANT.
To sum things up… at 19, and pregnant, my rowing and collegiate dreams were squashed. So, I waited for my mom to get home from work. I feel like I’m having a panic attack just writing about it. And I thought about my life, all that I had envisioned and how it was all gone. I would never recover from this, I thought. There is no way to have a happy ending…and I still have to tell my poor father.
I called in re-enforcments when I went to tell my dad. Just in case. I had one of my best friends go with me. Lucky girl. I’m not even friends with her anymore – I can’t imagine why. And yet I share this life-long memory with her. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I got pregnant…and had a baby…and squashed what little social life I already had at merely 19 years of age.
I clearly remember thinking, surely he won’t attack me with a witness, right? My dear ‘ole dad didn’t take it quite as bad as I expected. In fact, we still joke about that today. Turns out – we think he went straight into a state of shock. Instantaneous. shock. Only a pregnant, teenage daughter has that kind of effect. I mean, I had to tell him first right? I didn’t want him to hear about my mom dying first and not know why. (P.S. - they’re divorced.)
And then my mom’s sister knocked on his door.
They found me.
The next few hours are a blur. I’ve had numerous accounts of the evening told to me. I only really remember walking into my home, which now felt like a cold, dark, foreign country, and seeing my mom. With a tear stained face and swollen eyes. And both her sisters.
I remember feeling this strange, indescribable urge to “defend” myself. To make it clear that I knew was I was doing. Does this sound hilarious to anyone else? I passionately defended my claimed “love” for “bebeh’s daddy” and explained my plans to run off to a far-away military base, with no friends or family, and have a baby.
This just keeps getting better….
39 comments
ohh… cliff hanger. I like! Can’t wait to hear the rest.
(PS. every time I’ve had something difficult to tell someone I write it instead of actually saying it. It’s SO much easier.)
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I also enjoy a good cliff hanger!!! I got pregnant at 19 too, and had him at 19.
(I’m currently twenty, going on twenty-one lmao)
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Thanks for sharing your story with us! I had a good friend while I was in college who got pregnant at 19. We met a few years later and it was quite eye opening for me. Can’t wait to hear the rest!!
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Okay, I’m completely sucked in! I can’t wait to read the rest!
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“And then I proceeded to pack everything I owned (which was like nothing at 19) ”
ha- classic!
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i can’t wait either love you t
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I love that you wrote your Mom a letter. Which is totally what I would have done. I can’t wait to read the rest!
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UGH! You can’t just leave it there! I’m haning on by a thread.
I too am a letter writer. The hubs and I once had an entire argument in letter-written form over a 3 hour period.
Can’t wait to read the rest!
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Wow.. I can’t wait to hear the rest!
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You are so mean .. I hate cliffhangers! I wanna know the end haha
My conversation (on the phone) with my dad.
Me: Dad, I have something to tell you and you won’t be happy. You should maybe sit.
Dad: omg, Lil’ you are pregnant
Me: *laughing out of control* NO! I just got my nose pierced
– Exactly one week passes and I find out that in fact I AM pregnant –
Me: So Dad, remember when you thought I was pregnant. Surprise!
Dad, was laughing at the coincidence so hard he wasn’t ever upset.
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….. great story, what a cliff hanger!
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Tiffany,
What about an abortion?
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I can’t believe they tracked you down. That had to have been the worst knock on the door. Your poor stomach…
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I can’t imagine the anxiety you must have felt that day!! Waiting to see what happened next!
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Mean people on the internet suck, Anonymous have you considered sewing your piehole closed? Grow up and show the girl some respect and if you have nothing dignified to say perhaps you should just shut it.
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LW,
Thanks for the unprovoked attack.
It is a legitimate question and at 19 a viable option for someone who may have not been ready.
Two things are obvious here:
1) Tiffany an amazing woman. I follow her blog very closely and trust me, I have respect for any woman who has the guts to publish her life on the internet.
2) The fact that she did NOT have abortion was the right decision. Just look at how amazing her family is.
My comment was a question, not a suggestion — did abortion come up as an option?
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AAAAHHH! My first time here and already a cliffhanger!! Now you’ve sucked me in and I’ll have to come back
Same scenario happened with my sister. She was afraid to tell my dad, but he handled it well and my mom freaked out!
Found you on twitter…glad I did!
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i cant wait to read more!
Im very prolife and so glad that no matter what stage of life and what age that you decided to keep your little bubs. 
I cant wait to read all about it!
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Can’t wait to hear what happens next…you’re an awesome story teller
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I also got pregnant at 19, I can totally relate. Looking forward to reading more.
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Can’t wait to read the rest even though I know its a happy ending.
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good stuff tiffany…this is the stuff we want to read!
anonymous, i dont think that “attack” was unprovoked
you could have elaborated further
if your heart was kind with that comment
if you read tiffany, you KNOW she had that baby
and other moms?
well we don’t like to hear about killing babies
especially when they are already
living breathing people with feelings
check yourself. or your intentions.
and be proud of what you say
instead of hiding behind “anonymous”
and if you can’t be proud of it,
then you probably just should keep it to yourself.
fistpump LW
rock on tiff. can’t wait to hear the rest.
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My best friend had her first child at 19 too! I love hearing these stories. It’s nice how we can now look back at those times and laugh.
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I can’t wait to read the rest of this story!
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I also find writing things easier than speaking them. I almost wanted to write a letter to my dad when I got pregnant (and I was married) just because it was the first time I was admitting that his precious daughter had done the nasty!
Can’t wait to hear the rest! You’re awesome Tiff!
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Hilarious! You know I also got pregnant at 19 and funny our stories are quite similar. I remember calling my Mom and saying “hey so is Dad home? are you in a good mood? Are you sitting down?” I was so glad that my Dad was out of town at the time. I remember thinking if Dad finds out, then I am dead. Seriously dead. Oh it didn’t matter that I lived a good 2,ooo miles away from them in NYC, I knew my Dad would come kill me. Well guess what? I never told my Dad over the phone. Nope, he showed up IN NYC and KNOCKED ON MY DORM DOOR!!! I remember opening the door and mouthing to my roomate “don’t leave or I will get murdered!” LOL. Oh it was HORRIBLE. Funny enough, my Dad was in that instantaneous shock as well and he reacted MUCH better than my Mom, who called me a loser whore, with no future (words my Mother would NEVER say now and is horrified that she ever called me that!). My Dad on the other hand, took me to Cheesecake Factory, went to the Met Museum, and strolled Central Park talking to me about my options. Funny how the reaction you expect isnt the one you get! Looking forward to hearing the rest
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I also found out I was pregnant at 19. Scary crazy times. Can’t wait for part 2. I have been thinking about posting how I found out I was knocked up on my blog. My amazing son just turned 12 and I wouldn’t trade him for the world:). Thanks for sharing!
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I got pregnant at 19, too. You know how I told my mom? At Disney on Ice. The Finding Nemo version.
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[...] you missed the beginning of this story, it will serve you well to go back here before reading any [...]
You got me this far, I gotta go back and check out the next segment!
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[...] my name is Tiffany and you can read all about how I got knocked up at 19 here – (http://mom-nom.com/2010/05/05/gettingreal/) and then more about my poor mom losing her mind here- [...]
Wow, great writing, you sucked me in too. I cannot even imagine the stress you were feeling. I was nervous to tell my parents I was pregnant – and I was married. It just confirmed to them that I was having sex
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